Friday, May 2, 2008

familliar feeling, pt.2

been pretty down today, tried to cheer myself up by keeping busy with this and that, but in the end the feeling of getting hurt keeps hitting me back. i dont know why, i thought i had oust this feeling long time ago. but i guess, somethings never changed. ironically, i should say i am glad to know my heart still have emotions left. judiciously speaking, i still harbour alot of pain when this familliar feeling came back. it reminded me the time where i lived life at the lowliest point of reason. i wont go into that. nobody deserves to know that except me...

a strange feeling i must say. i never knew this feeling governs over so many aspects of my life. influencing more things than i could have imagined. i lost my appetite, i lost my smile, i lost my spirit today. been doing nothing but countless sit-ups (yea..) in my room, followed by continuos chains of cigarettes.

i dont know what i've done to deserve this. but like all things in life, i guess everything comes with a reason. i must have been another of those episodes life is so fond of throwing at me. the episode where something happened and hurt my feelings, and no reason is given. it is me amid this feeling wandering aimlessly to find the reason, and not everytime i'm capable of finding the answer...

it's allright i guess..i never had the privilege to smile with a genuine joy. was born with a single wing to fly, and two feet to stand on my own. nanny was correct in her prediction after all :)

well adios, i shall keep ya guys updated with happier news soon.. need to take my car n spin around 'to chase away the blues', at least, wish me luck i will manage to chase it away k.

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